Jax's Studio City
It Takes a Valley Village
It’s felt like ages, hasn’t it? I’ve been busy and I’m guessing you have, too. Now I’m back in my closet office, gazing at the June gloom that will dissipate into plain old June heat, ready to relay another gorgeous Los Angeles experience to your expectant inboxes!
Some backstory: my friend Frankie and I have bravely done a recap podcast about a new Bravo show called The Valley. The Valley is a spinoff of Vanderpump Rules which is a spinoff of The Real Housewives of a Beverly Hills which is a spinoff of The Real Housewives of Orange County. Is your head spinoffing? The Valley follows a few of the more controversial cast members forging new lives for themselves away from the hustle and bustle of West Hollywood in the baking heat of Valley Village. Shockingly, it’s been an exciting season, resulting in a double separation (something even Shakespeare never conjured) of two couples.
One of the running storylines was a cast member opening* his own** sports bar*** in Hollywood****. His name is Jax and the bar is in Studio City so the name of the bar is Jax’s Studio City. In the name of journalistic integrity, Frankie and decided for the finale episode we needed to attend the watch party, attended by the cast and held where else but Jax’s Studio City.
Jax’s Studio City abuts a more established franchise called Rocco’s, because it really is just an extension of Rocco’s, branded under a new name with softer, more feminine décor. This is because it’s not so much a sports bar but a place for fans of Bravo’s incredible programming to gather and mill about their favorite cast members in person, much like Disneyland.
When we arrived Jax himself was standing at the entrance, nervously texting, wearing an unbuttoned black shirt under what I can only describe as a tuxedo. If you don’t know much about Jax, there’s a lot to catch up on, but the major points are: he’s a sociopath, he’s had two nose jobs, and he’s cheated on every single woman he’s ever dated. He and his (long-suffering) wife, Brittany Cartwright, accounted for one half of the season-ending double separation. Frankie and I walked by him, gawking, but luckily were undetected and unacknowledged due to a combination of age (high) and breast size (low).
Eventually other cast members filled in, including a man named Jesse who was once in a TrimSpa ad with Anna Nicole Smith. He was married to a woman named Michelle, but alas, they also fell victim to the double separation.
Jax and Jesse and their supporters sat in a circular couch in the center of the bar patio, visible from 360 degrees. Over the course of the next few hours we watched them watch their wives leave them on television. They seemed sad, but not so sad they couldn’t smile for pictures with fans. Towards the end of the episode, the wives walked in, and milled about next to their estranged spouses, also taking pictures for fans.
We were too sober to subject ourselves to much more, so we left Jax’s Studio City feeling over stimulated and disconcerted. It was everything we wanted and nothing we wanted, and that’s maybe what getting famous from a reality television show feels like. Maybe that’s what all professional success feels like. I can’t wait to feel that horrible all the time so don’t forget to like and subscribe!
*taking over an existing space
**his and his wife’s plus a million business partners
***lounge
****Studio City
Wish I’d been there!
It must be because I'm so old, but there isn't enough alcohol in the world that would make Jax's Studio City any less shabby than your portrait of the scene. The minute you and Frankie left, the median IQ at the bar dropped below average.