And for Rick, I'm So Thankful

He taught me malls

I think we can all agree that the treatment of indigenous people in this country was bad, whatever our personal feelings about Thanksgiving itself. That said, more gratitude is never a bad thing, so in the spirit of gratitude, I’d like to take a brief pause from stuffing myself with leftovers to acknowledge things in Los Angeles I’m grateful for:

1. I am grateful that Rick Caruso spent over 100 million dollars of his own money to lose a city-wide election. I can continue to enjoy his dumb malls guilt-free!

2. I am grateful for the blinding light of the sun that wakes me up every day (after which I promptly fall back asleep). Sometimes you forget what living in darkness can do to your psyche!

3. I am grateful for year-round outdoor dining (except when it rains). It’s nice not to scan your fellow diners for signs of grave illness when you’re about to tuck into a meal, even if the tradeoff is dessert next to a dumpster!

If I learned anything from years of doing improv, it’s that men aren’t funnier than me, they just have more confidence. If I learned something else it’s that three things are funny for some reason so I’ll leave it there except to add that I’m also grateful to all of you for reading this nonsense each week.

Christmas at Caruso’s Americana! Long live the trolley!

Darn it, that was four things. Maybe women aren’t funny after all!